25
Aug '08
Hey mon,
So we finally made it. Greetings from the Bahamas. I’d tell you the story about Edy but she’s looking over my shoulder right now. Give me a few minutes, she’ll be sleeping by then. So, anywase, let me tell you about the beach, Edy, Tim, and a shark. Lets put it like this, Michael Phelps, you know, the gold medal olympian is lucky Edy and the shark weren’t in the event.
So, we were all chilling out in this beach called Jaws Beach when I genuinely saw a shark. I yelled for everyone to start swimming in but no one believed me, so Tim, screams out, ‘no really!’ and starts swimming in with a smile from ear to ear. Well, no one even flinched except for one… one very fast swimmer. We’ve renamed her Edy “speedy” and when that gets old we’ll call her “shark bait Pinero.” After a few hundred yards she finally stopped swimming after she realized she was half way up to her face in sand. We actually, because of Edy found buried treasure on the beach because she dug so deep with her flippers but we had to use the money we found for bale but you’ll find out about that later. No but really I’ll tell you the story when we get back. Edy is not really to happy with me now but when I became a reporter I swore to tell the truth and the whole truth. She would like you to think that the story was far more basic than that but don’t believe the fundamentalist propaganda.
Here we are in the airport. We arrived for our layover in Miami according to Edy, at 12:45 in the early morning. We were in the airport, about 2:15 when Edy sensed a quiet brief somewhat godly conversation between a loving father and humble son, when Edy began shouting out, fight fight fight!!! She thrust the young boy towards his father, as far as I’ve heard from reputable witnesses this is what sparked the airport wide riot you may have seen in the news.
Thank God for Tim whom Edy said was the one who originally pushed the young fella into his father. After the brawl, Tim was arrested by local authorities but had to be airlifted to Miami Children’s Hospital where a young boy needed a simple transplant but was rejected service as they worked on his fractured skull that resulted from the repeated stomps he received from the boys father’s cowboy boots.
Afterwards I caught up with Pinero, age 19, youth these days, but she refused to comment. She said her involvement was completely plotonic and that she would be hiring a lawyer to sue Shanley for defacing the Pinero name. All she kept saying was, “it’s not true, none of it.”
You believe what you want, but this is just one reporters perspective revealing the truth. If you have any questions about the validity of this report you can contact Tim Shanley in the intensive care unit at (242)344-2134. If you would like to make a tax deductible contrabution you can send it to 21 Shark Way Sharkland, Montego Bay 12321.
OH YEAH WE DID SOME INCREDIBLE MINISTRY TODAY THAT I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT TOMORROW.
God bless you all, we’ll be home soon and I hope you know everything I just said was fabricated.
Love,
Pastor Billy
